I am starting this blog to help my heart heal and feel and deal.
Monday, May 10, 2010
We all know what Sunday was. We all dealt or didn't deal, felt or didn't feel, were surprised by our feelings or blindsided by the emotions that this day carries with it or had already "put up our dukes" in preparation for it. I, so thankfully, was given a perfect "excuse". My Murray turned 4 years old. I was able to place all my focus on him. We even did a little family dinner at Chuck E Cheeses. I was glad to not have to focus on the idea of this day. I did steal a few quet moments to reflect on the fact that I am the mother of 2 beautiful wonderful sons.
Go ahead and mention my child, The one that died, you know. Don't worry about hurting me further. The depth of my pain doesn't show. Don't worry about making me cry. I'm already crying inside. Help me to heal by releasing the tears that I try to hide. I'm hurt when you just keep silent, Pretending she didn't exist. I'd rather you mention my child, Knowing that she has been missed. You asked me how I was doing. I say "pretty good" or "fine". But healing is something ongoing I feel it will take a lifetime. ~ Elizabeth Dent ~
I am 40, married to Eric the most amazing man since '06 (although we have been together since '98. I have 2 step sons Devon 15 and Riley 12 and my amazingly wonderful son Murray 3 and my angel baby boy Cayden who slipped from my arms to Gods in August '09.