Monday, June 14, 2010
My dear cousin and his wife have been trying to get pregnant for a couple years now. They have struggled greatly. They are now about to embark on IVF with a donor egg. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for them and am praying and hoping as hard as I can that they will be finally blessed with a child. So my mother and I were driving and she pops off with "I want it more for them than I do for you". OMG OMG OMG. When I looked at her with the shock I was feeling she simply said "don't get upset with me, you have Murray and I want them to have a chance at a child". All I could come up with was "I don't think this is the sort of thing that has to be gauged". I know I shouldn't be surprised at this and after chewing it over and hashing it out with my sister in law, I know she is approaching this from a position of fear. She is fearful of me having to face the sort of pain I faced and continue to face after losing Cayden. She would rather me just stop and not risk it. But f*ck, come on Mom, if you are going to chose teams...........shouldn't it be MY TEAM? And so much more to the point.........this is not something that a team has to be chosen for. Oh I love you Mom, but honestly, that really hurt.