Monday, June 14, 2010


My dear cousin and his wife have been trying to get pregnant for a couple years now. They have struggled greatly. They are now about to embark on IVF with a donor egg. I have all my fingers and toes crossed for them and am praying and hoping as hard as I can that they will be finally blessed with a child. So my mother and I were driving and she pops off with "I want it more for them than I do for you". OMG OMG OMG. When I looked at her with the shock I was feeling she simply said "don't get upset with me, you have Murray and I want them to have a chance at a child". All I could come up with was "I don't think this is the sort of thing that has to be gauged". I know I shouldn't be surprised at this and after chewing it over and hashing it out with my sister in law, I know she is approaching this from a position of fear. She is fearful of me having to face the sort of pain I faced and continue to face after losing Cayden. She would rather me just stop and not risk it. But f*ck, come on Mom, if you are going to chose teams...........shouldn't it be MY TEAM? And so much more to the point.........this is not something that a team has to be chosen for. Oh I love you Mom, but honestly, that really hurt.


  1. Ouch.... sorry, Cristen. That must of stung.


  2. Gosh, Cristen, I'm sorry she said that! I'm sure she didn't mean to try and hurt you but that's usually how it is. Our moms should always be on our side.

  3. Thanks ladies. I hate to run her up the pole on my blog, but it IS supposed to be where I can get sh*t off my chest right? Hopefully if she ever reads it she will understand. I know she comes from a place of love.